You Keep Me Sane
For 8 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.
They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.
In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.
Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.
You Keep Me Sane
Saying NO - Why Is It So Hard? | Sanity Check
Episode Overview
This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.
Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.
Key Discussion Points
- Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
- The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
- People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
- Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
- The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
- How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
- Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity
Listener Takeaways
- Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
- Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
- Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
- Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
- Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs
Join the Conversation
Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.
Links:
- Join our YKMS WhatsApp Group: https://chat.whatsapp.com/Jcjq9gzY26G1f1iSV65auZ
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
- Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
- Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Download our FREE e-book: ENOUGH - Just As You Are https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.